“My little Remystar,” Elisabeth said to her beautiful little girl, opening up the bedroom door.
The small, dark haired child wiggled from under the covers she though she had hidden herself beneath.
“Where could Remy be?” Elisabeth asked with a smile, walking around the room. She caught a glance of herself in the fulllength mirror that was plastered to the wall as she did so and looked away quickly. As if she needed anymore reminders of her awful decision making.
A giggle came from the bed, bringing a smile back to Elisabeth’s face.
“Oh Remyyyy,” she sang, walking towards the bed. The giggling got louder. Elisabeth ripped the quilt off the otherwise bare bed, leaving only her brown eyed daughter laying in the middle of it, shaking with the laughter that made Elisabeth’s world go round.
“There she is!” she cried, setting herself on the bed and allowing Remy to kinda sorta scramble up onto her lap. Elisabeth’s swollen belly prevented them from snuggling like normal, but she tried her best to hug Remy as tightly as she could.
“Hi, Mama,” Remy said, squeezing Elisabeth back with her little three year old arms.
“Hi, baby,” Elisabeth said, planting a kiss on Remy’s chubby toddler cheeks. “How was your nappy?”
Remy responded by climbing out of her mother’s lap and off the bed. She grabbed the little teddy bear off the floor. She must have dropped it off the bed in her sleep.
“Play bear,” Remy said, handing the toy to elisabeth. It was the only real toy she owneda handmedown from Elisabeth, herself.
Elisabeth took the teddy and made it dance, watching as Remy’s eyes lit up. More giggles erupted from her throat. It was so amusing, watching her get such joy from just a little thing. Elisabeth scooped her up, holding her off to the side and out of the way of her belly.
She took her into the tiny living room that was attached to the flat she’d broken into last night. Her backpack was there with Remy’s baby stuff, but there was also a loaf of bread she’d pinched from a market bakery the afternoon before. That, and some butter she’d found in the same market would be for lunch today. Dinner too, probably.
It was so risky walking the market with Remy, and Elisabeth didn’t feel comfortable leaving her anywhere. Especially now with her seven month pregnant belly, it was hard to go by unnoticed. She was lucky for what they had now.
She sat Remy on the floor and ripped off a chunk of bread for her. Remy gobbled it down, always hungry for more. It broke Elisabeth’s heart, watching her daughter beg for more and knowing she couldn’t give it. Not if they wanted food for later.
She rubbed her belly absent mindedly, hating herself. It had been hard enough to get by working odd jobs for herself and Remy, but now she couldn’t even do that with this baby in her belly. And how would she possibly be able to afford supporting someone other than Remy?
It wasn’t going to be possible. But what could she do? Her love for Remy had stopped her from aborting the newest baby (what if she had done that to Remy?!), but so far all this baby had done was put she and Remy in danger. And Elisabeth would not let anything happen to Remy.
It meant the orphanage was the only option.
Elisabeth herself had grown up in the orphanage. And though she rarely admitted it to herself, and only in her darkest moments, at thatmaybe Remy would have been better off there. At least they had food. A warm, clean bed. Somewhere to live in a stable environment.
She watched Remy sit in the corner, playing with the bear. Elisabeth had grown up with many toys, clothes that always fit. Remy’s were either too big or too small, and the only reason she had the teddy is because it was Elisabeth’s from the orphanage.
If she hadn’t of been so selfish... if she didn’t need Remy (much more than Remy needed her, in any case)... but it was pointless to think about, because she was selfish and she did need her. Remy was her’s. Her best and only friend in an otherwise lonely world.
But this baby, the one still inside her, had a chance. To be adopted by a family that would love them. Or, even if not, to live in a stable environment with a full belly.
And just like that it was settled. It would be best for everyone involved, though Elisabeth couldn’t think about what her life would be like now if she had made the same decision for Remy three years ago.
The small, dark haired child wiggled from under the covers she though she had hidden herself beneath.
“Where could Remy be?” Elisabeth asked with a smile, walking around the room. She caught a glance of herself in the fulllength mirror that was plastered to the wall as she did so and looked away quickly. As if she needed anymore reminders of her awful decision making.
A giggle came from the bed, bringing a smile back to Elisabeth’s face.
“Oh Remyyyy,” she sang, walking towards the bed. The giggling got louder. Elisabeth ripped the quilt off the otherwise bare bed, leaving only her brown eyed daughter laying in the middle of it, shaking with the laughter that made Elisabeth’s world go round.
“There she is!” she cried, setting herself on the bed and allowing Remy to kinda sorta scramble up onto her lap. Elisabeth’s swollen belly prevented them from snuggling like normal, but she tried her best to hug Remy as tightly as she could.
“Hi, Mama,” Remy said, squeezing Elisabeth back with her little three year old arms.
“Hi, baby,” Elisabeth said, planting a kiss on Remy’s chubby toddler cheeks. “How was your nappy?”
Remy responded by climbing out of her mother’s lap and off the bed. She grabbed the little teddy bear off the floor. She must have dropped it off the bed in her sleep.
“Play bear,” Remy said, handing the toy to elisabeth. It was the only real toy she owneda handmedown from Elisabeth, herself.
Elisabeth took the teddy and made it dance, watching as Remy’s eyes lit up. More giggles erupted from her throat. It was so amusing, watching her get such joy from just a little thing. Elisabeth scooped her up, holding her off to the side and out of the way of her belly.
She took her into the tiny living room that was attached to the flat she’d broken into last night. Her backpack was there with Remy’s baby stuff, but there was also a loaf of bread she’d pinched from a market bakery the afternoon before. That, and some butter she’d found in the same market would be for lunch today. Dinner too, probably.
It was so risky walking the market with Remy, and Elisabeth didn’t feel comfortable leaving her anywhere. Especially now with her seven month pregnant belly, it was hard to go by unnoticed. She was lucky for what they had now.
She sat Remy on the floor and ripped off a chunk of bread for her. Remy gobbled it down, always hungry for more. It broke Elisabeth’s heart, watching her daughter beg for more and knowing she couldn’t give it. Not if they wanted food for later.
She rubbed her belly absent mindedly, hating herself. It had been hard enough to get by working odd jobs for herself and Remy, but now she couldn’t even do that with this baby in her belly. And how would she possibly be able to afford supporting someone other than Remy?
It wasn’t going to be possible. But what could she do? Her love for Remy had stopped her from aborting the newest baby (what if she had done that to Remy?!), but so far all this baby had done was put she and Remy in danger. And Elisabeth would not let anything happen to Remy.
It meant the orphanage was the only option.
Elisabeth herself had grown up in the orphanage. And though she rarely admitted it to herself, and only in her darkest moments, at thatmaybe Remy would have been better off there. At least they had food. A warm, clean bed. Somewhere to live in a stable environment.
She watched Remy sit in the corner, playing with the bear. Elisabeth had grown up with many toys, clothes that always fit. Remy’s were either too big or too small, and the only reason she had the teddy is because it was Elisabeth’s from the orphanage.
If she hadn’t of been so selfish... if she didn’t need Remy (much more than Remy needed her, in any case)... but it was pointless to think about, because she was selfish and she did need her. Remy was her’s. Her best and only friend in an otherwise lonely world.
But this baby, the one still inside her, had a chance. To be adopted by a family that would love them. Or, even if not, to live in a stable environment with a full belly.
And just like that it was settled. It would be best for everyone involved, though Elisabeth couldn’t think about what her life would be like now if she had made the same decision for Remy three years ago.
