cabin in the woods [paisley]

If there was one thing Nils had wished for throughout the years, it was for a normal life. And over the past couple of months, he'd started to think that maybe he'd actually get his wish. To his surprise, he'd been practically welcomed into Paisley's family as one of their own. He enjoyed almost every outing with them, even the mundane ones. Mundane was such a welcome change compared to what his life had been.

Unfortunately, outside of her family, Nils was more recently learning that life with her wasn't going to be entirely "normal" after all. She was the overloridian, after all. One of the biggest public figures in Amelia. And dating her apparently meant that he was gonna have to be a public figure too.

It wasn't the easiest thing to accept. After years of being conditioned to run, hide, stay out of sight, don't get noticed, having to suddenly deal with cameras and reporters and strangers knowing his name was almost too much. He stopped leaving the suite so much, his anxiety gradually getting worse and worse. Paisley noticed pretty quickly.

She was the one who suggested they go away, just the two of them. There was a cabin in the mountains that she could rent. It would be good for him, she said. He was infinitely grateful.

So here they were, no one but the two of them. There was a fireplace to keep them warm, although Nils didn't really mind the cold. He huddled up with Paisley in front of it, nonetheless. "This," he told her, "was a really, really good idea."

"Well," Paisley said with a smile, "my ideas are usually good ones." She wrinkled her nose at him to show she was joking and then leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. They were cuddled in a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor in front of the fireplace, their backs against the plush couch.

They were vacationing in a small, secluded cabin that belonged to a rental company she'd often visited as a child. This cabin was smaller than those, of course, with just one bedroom. It was the perfect getaway for Paisley and Nils.

"It really has been a good day though, hasn't it?" she mused, watching the fire crackle in front of them. They'd spent the last few hours outside making snowpeople and playing in the cold. Paisley loved Nadar, but it was so refreshing being in the mountains.

"Yeah," Nils replied with a small smile. Paisley seemed determined to make sure Nils experienced every little thing he'd missed out on growing up, and making snowmen had been one of those things. Paisley had gotten pretty enthusiastic about it too, sort of like she did when she gardened, which he found adorable. "One of the best."

He leaned in and kissed her. Everything just felt so right in that moment. Him and Paisley, alone, miles from anyone else. "You're so beautiful," he told her, before kissing her again.

Paisley closed her eyes as Nils kissed her, completely caught up in the perfect moment. She felt so warm and happy. Ever since Nils had come into her life, things just felt right. She'd been happy before, but looking back, a piece of her had been missing. Nils just seemed to complete her. She was so in love.

"I love you," she told him, finally opening her eyes as the second kiss broke. She just felt so full, looking at him.

Nils just smiled before kissing Paisley again, this time more deeply. One of his hands came to rest on her thigh. While he'd never been shy about kissing Paisley, he'd never really tried anything else up until now, despite wanting to. He didn't want to offend her or anything. But here they were, alone and in love and it made him feel surprisingly bold.

"I love you too," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her neck.

A shiver ran down Paisley's back as Nils kissed along her neck. His hand on her thigh stirred feelings in her body that beckoned her to draw closer to him, and she found herself leaning in, letting his kisses leave a trail of fire on her skin. Everything about the moment felt so perfect, it almost clouded her judgement.

His lips left her skin for a moment as he moved to reposition the kisses and gave her just enough time for her thoughts to slow. She drew away slightly and placed a hand on Nils' chest. Her heart was still beating feverishly as she bent her head down and leaned her forehead against Nils' shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry," she said quietly, her breathing shallow and shaky. What had she been thinking, leading him on like that?

Nils was blissfully lost in the moment as he allowed himself to be more and more forward with Paisley. He was so completely ready for this--let's face it, he had been for weeks now--until he felt Paisley's hand on his chest. There was just the slightest bit of pressure, enough to tell him that she wanted him to stop. She was pushing him away.

He pulled back slowly as she laid her head on his shoulder and apologized. She didn't sound even remotely happy. He bit his lip nervously, any confidence he'd had a moment ago gone in an instant. "What's wrong?" he asked, hoping he hadn't upset her somehow, yet knowing he probably had.

Paisley's heart clenched when she heard the disappointment and nervousness in Nils' voice. Of course he would think he had done something wrong. It made her feel terrible.

She shook her head slightly, not moving from her spot at his shoulder. She knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but she couldn't help it. She felt her cheeks turning red as she stared into his lap, not wanting to meet his eyes. But the last thing she wanted to do was hurt his feelings--she hoped he would understand that this was completely about her, and not about him at all.

"I just..." she said quietly. She'd never let herself get in this position before, and it was hard to decide what to say. Growing up, she'd always been taught that this sort of thing was to be left for marriage only, and while she wasn't sure she still believed what she'd done tonight was an actual sin, she did know that she wanted to save the actual act of having sex for her wedding night. Even feeling as in love with Nils as she did, she knew it was something she wanted to hold off on.

And she knew, if Nils felt the same way about her as she did about him, that he would wait for her. So why was it so hard to just say it?

"I've always wanted to wait," she finally said softly. "It's not that I don't want to, because I do... I just want to wait more." She wasn't sure if what she was saying made any sense, but it was hard to find the words when she felt such a range of emotions. It was so hard to want to have sex with Nils, but to want to wait at the same time. Would he understand?

"Oh," Nils said, genuinely surprised. The concept of waiting (till marriage, he assumed?) for sex was almost foreign to him. He obviously knew clio did it, but for him at least, that ship had sailed a long, long time ago. He flushed slightly just thinking about it and tried to force those thoughts out of his head. "I didn't know that you..."

That she what? That she had never been with anyone before? That she would want her first time to be more meaningful? He suddenly felt like kicking himself for thinking that she wanted this now, too. He should've realized. Stupid. He dropped his head and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No, no," Paisley said, finally lifting her head. "It's my fault, Nils," she told him. "I should have brought this up sooner." Leave it to her to get them in a sticky, awkward situation. She was always careful to make sure not to hurt his feelings, but she'd blown it this time. Why hadn't she thought that he'd want this from her? Nils had just always been on the same page as her about everything--she'd stupidly forgotten that it wouldn't be like that forever.

"I want to," she said again, making sure he knew that she really did. She wanted nothing more than to share herself with Nils in a way she'd never shared with anyone else...but she knew it would be even more special if they waited for the day she hoped she would be sharing with him, also. She took a hand and lifted his chin so he wasn't hanging his head anymore. "I really do. I just know that I also want to wait."

She wanted to say that she hoped it would be with him, when she eventually did do it, but she didn't want to be too forward. She sighed. "I love you." It was the best she could do.

"It's not your fault," Nils insisted. The last thing he wanted to come out of this mess was for Paisley to be the one feeling bad. Really, he was the one who should've talked to her about it first, instead of just assuming he knew what she wanted. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a bit disappointed, but he would never, ever, in a million years try to pressure Paisley into anything she wasn't ready for. "I don't mind waiting if that's what you want."

"And I love you too," he said, knowing she already knew. After a slight pause, he quietly confided, "You know...I've never been with anyone who meant something to me before you." He ran a hand through her hair.

Paisley smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him. She felt so special whenever Nils said something like that. It was like they had been made for each other.

She leaned back into him, hoping they could curl back into each other and stay curled in the blankets for awhile more. Though she wanted to wait to share that intimate part of her, she loved this closeness.

"I can't imagine my life without you in it," she told him truthfully. She watched the fire crackle in the fireplace. She felt so safe and happy whenever they were together. It was so nice to be able to get away, just the two of them. She hoped he still felt the same.

Nils wrapped his arms around Paisley. His disappointment was wearing off, and now he was just grateful that he hadn't made things super awkward. He smiled slightly at her comment. "Your life would be fine without me," he assured her. It made him a little sad to think about, but he knew it was true. If Paisley had never found him and Henri on the beach that day, she'd have gone back to her job as the overloridian, continued to visit her family often, probably eventually met someone nice and normal and perfectly good for her...

His life without her on the other hand? He could probably imagine it if he tried, but he didn't want to.

"Fine, maybe," she admitted truthfully. "But not as good." She leaned up and kissed his jaw. Nils' thoughts were correct--had she not stumbled upon the brothers, Paisley would have returned home from her camping, and gone about business as usual. But apart from visiting her family in Earalas, Paisley's life had been lonely. Life was fine, but she wasn't satisfied. She'd never been this happy, in Nadar. Not like she was now.

"You make everything better."

"You're the first clio I've ever made things better for, then," Nils replied, still smiling. The fact that he was able to make Paisley so happy made him feel prouder than he'd ever thought he could possibly feel. Despite his neediness, he never felt like he was a burden to her. "I have no idea how I managed to do it, though."

"Nils, don't you see?" Paisley asked. "It's just by being you." Nils didn't have to try to make Paisley happy... it just happened. He didn't have to act tough like some guys, or show off, or even pretend to be anything other than just Nils to make her feel like she was the luckiest girl in the world. He just had to exist. Though he didn't see it, Paisley had fallen in love with what she saw in him.

"You're brave," she said, repositioning herself so she could kiss him easily, "and kind," she kissed him again, "and gentle," more kisses, "and creative..." She could easily list off more personality traits that had led her to love, but the kisses seemed more important.

"I'm," Nils managed to say in between Paisley's kisses, "not brave." No matter how many times she told him he was, he would never believe it.

However, he was pretty flattered that she called him creative. He'd always been a daydreamer, escaping off into elaborate fantasies inside his head. It was how he'd gotten into writing. But daydreaming and writing was always just something he did to cope. It was never anything he'd felt like he was particularly good at, or thought was worth sharing with anyone.

"You really think I'm creative?" he asked her, once she pulled back from kissing him.

"Are you kidding? Of course I do!" Paisley said. Despite Nils' initial nervousness of the gardens, he'd really flourished out there. In fact, Paisley had taken to asking him how he thought things should be arranged, even when she was the one doing the planting. He made things look so beautiful, and it paired nicely with her knowledge of what plants would grow well together.

Besides that, Nils had finally showed her some of his own writings, which she hadn't been aware of for the months he'd been living in Nadar. Although he wasn't very practiced in spelling or grammar, having never attended school, his fictional stories drew Paisley in and blew her away. He had talent, and it was incredible to read through what he had written.

"You're better at arranging plants than I am! And your writing...one day, if you're interested, I thought maybe I could help you get published?" She knew that Nils was shy about his stuff, but Paisley was hoping that one day she'd be able to talk him into putting it out there. It demanded to be read. It wasn't enough for her to tell him that she loved it, she wanted the world to be able to say the same.

"What?" Nils asked in surprise, his face flushing slightly. He looked down at the floor. "Come on. No one would wanna publish my stuff." Even though Paisley had liked the stories he let her read, he knew that his lack of schooling showed in his work. He'd been so embarrassed to show her, knowing how many mistakes there'd probably been. She hadn't pointed any out, but he knew she noticed them. He could tell just by watching her read. "I barely even know how to spell anything."

"Even the best books had someone edit them," Paisley said. "No one is perfect Nils--but your stories are great! Other clio should be able to read them."